Visiting Friends in 60's Style

I have spoken before about going to visit family and friends when I was growing up.  My mom had friends from school that we visited, and my dad had friends that we visited.  By the time my sister and I came along, all my parents' friends were just considered FAMILY friends, and had been for quite awhile.  The funny thing was that nearly ALL of my parents' friends had boys, and no girls! Luckily, my sister and I were tomboys!

We would have these boring Saturdays where none of us in the family could think of anything to do.  We had done all the playing we could stand, and our homework was done.  Then Mom and Dad would tell us to get cleaned up and change our clothes--we're going to visit someone!  And a lot of the time we wouldn't know who we were going to visit!  Instead of being nervous, we were excited and anticipating our visit.  Looking back, I think that Mom and Dad didn't know who we were going to visit for sure either.  We never called first, and that's just the way everyone did it.  People would come to visit us unannounced too, and they were always welcomed.  So we might start out going to visit one family, but if they weren't home we'd try another.

Friends of my grandma's and by extension, our friends too

Today we have Facebook, texting, tweeting, Skype, and e-mail.  We have lots of ways of "getting together".  But the only communication device we had in the 60's and before, was the telephone.  And that was something you used when you WEREN'T going to visit and wanted to talk to them anyway.  The best device was the car, or if the friends lived close by, the feet.

When we went to our extended family's homes or to family friends' homes, it was an event.  Some of them lived a fair distance away, and we'd stay overnight.  One family had a split-level home, and I can remember sleeping for the night in the basement of their home, laying on two armchairs pulled together front-to-front.  Another family lived near us, but the evening got so late I would fall asleep on their couch with someone's coat over me for a blanket, with the joyful sound of laughter and talking in the next room.  I have such wonderful memories of visiting, and exploring the neighborhoods of our friends.  One of my dad's high school classmates had gotten married and they had two boys about the ages of my sister and me.  They were our favorites to go visit, because they often had train sets or race cars that we all played with.  While our parents played Aggravation or cards we played hide-and-seek with the boys, or we hid objects and tried to find them using the "am I warm or cold" method.  We always had a lot of fun whether they came to our house or we went to theirs.

 

My favorite aunt and uncle's house--we visited there regularly

My wonderful Uncle Ted on his back porch in the long ago days

Do people visit like that anymore?  My observation is that we are always too busy now.  We're working, or taking care of our house and home.  We're enjoying our hobbies.  We're going to our children's school plays or sports games.  Who has time to visit friends and just enjoy each other's company for an hour or two?

When I started this blog, I had been thinking about our visits while I was growing up, and how much we all enjoyed them.  They made our lives so much richer.  As connected as we can be now, I believe that we were MORE connected back then.  It is much better to communicate and be in fellowship with each other in person, face-to-face, than it is on the computer or even by phone.  There is something to be said for seeing a person's expressions as they're talking to you, to help you know exactly what they're saying.  Being together in person binds you to each other in a way that nothing else can.

My nephew visiting with a dear old family friend

The most interesting thing about visiting each other was the good-bye.  It was never a see-yourself-out kind of thing.  It wasn't even a wave at the door.  No--good-bye was like the grand finale of the visit!  If you were the host, you walked out to their car with them.  If you were the guests, they walked out to your car with you.  From that point on, it was always the same.  Everyone would get in the car, roll their windows down, and talk to the other family for some time more.  The moms would talk, the dads would talk, and the kids would talk and scuffle around.  During this half hour or so there would be good-byes, and an, "oh, I almost forgot to tell you..."  Finally, much later than originally planned, the guests would back out of the driveway and head home to bed.  Why do I always think of frogs croaking, crickets chirping, clear, starry nights, and warm evening breezes when I think back to this?  Surely we visited people in other seasons than summer, but then, we kids were out of school, and the living was easy.

I talk of farewells now because I have decided to discontinue my Tuesday/Thursday postings.  I have begun to run out of subjects--after all, I was only a child in the 60's.  I could talk about lots of things that were iconic to the 1960's, but I don't have personal knowledge of them, and they would be strictly researched, but wouldn't come from the heart and soul.  I really enjoyed growing up in such an era.  I tell my kids about the freedom we had to run around the neighborhood, and it is something that they have never been able to experience because the world is meaner now.  That is mostly why I wanted to share some of life in the 1960's with you.  If you were there, I hope you have been able to reminisce with me a little.  If you weren't there, I hope you might be able to better understand those of us who were--the freedom and innocence we lived with and the modern conveniences we lived without!  I hope you can have a sense of history of where this country has been in the not-too-distant past.  If I come up with any ideas from time-to-time I will happily come back and jot them down.  I may not come jauntily into your driveway on a regular basis anymore, but you never know when I'll come for a visit.  And I won't call first--it'll be a surprise!

People of the 1960's from a Kid's Point of View

The 1960's in America were arguably our most turbulent time.  We were in transition, like a tween going into young adulthood.  We were trying to find our identity, trying for that independence that a teen strives for.  But like a teen, we weren't quite grown up yet.

The 1950's were calm and tranquil compared to the 60's.  In the 60's young adults were definitely being seen AND heard all over America, with demonstrations against anything authoritarian.  Vietnam War anti-protesters were front and center well into the 1970's.  Drugs were being used by many, and the new sub-culture of the day was the hippie.  We went from respecting ourselves and each other to being angry at everything, seemingly overnight.

For me, as a child of the 1960's, most of the angst of the day was a faraway world.  I saw it on the news, of course, but my surroundings were that of my family and friends.  My schoolmates seemed like they had lives just like mine.  We had two parents--a mom and a dad--and probably siblings.  We had our stuff--toys, bikes, a home.  We got three good meals a day, and snacks besides.  We had clean clothes to wear.  Until the early 1970's nobody I knew had gotten a divorce.  Sheltered, eh?  But back in that day, it was different than it is now. 

Teacher kept order and had our best interests always at heart

Then, the village was a better, more well-adjusted place.  People really did look out for children.  We had a great school bus driver who made sure we were safe and that none of the kids on his bus got out of control.  Our teachers obviously had our best interests at heart.  Our friends' parents knew us, at least their moms did.  They fed us lunches and kept an eye on us as we played in each other's yards.  They reminded us when it was time to go home to dinner if we asked them to.  And our parents' every desire was to make the family work well.  Dad worked, even if he wasn't happy with his job or his pay (my dad was frequently unhappy with his pay).  Mom often stayed home and took care of the household and the younger kids who weren't in school yet.  Even when she had a job, sometimes her pay helped to make day-to-day life easier or more plentiful.  My mom was a nurse, and for a time in the 60's we would go out to dinner somewhere every other Saturday night.  We'd try lots of different places, all sit-down, nicer restaurants.  That would not have been possible without Mom's job.

Family enjoying dinner together

I think that something that the first half of the 60's had over today is that we had a sense of right and wrong.  I only saw life, and observed society, from a child's viewpoint, and if you were an adult at that time you undoubtedly saw it all from a different perspective.  Throughout time, people have done what people do, and sometimes they don't do the best things.  But as time has gone on, there is less shame in doing things that have a negative impact on society.  For example, porn used to be a magazine hidden under a mattress--now it is splashed all over the Internet and billboards in every city.  It is on our televisions and in movies.  Instead of being embarrassed by it, it is acceptable to a large portion of society--despite the fact that it is exploitative, ugly, and extremely harmful. 

I'm not saying that I was oblivious to the upheaval of society in the 60's.  I was very aware of it.  The high school kids that rode my school bus were normal teens.  The girls teased their hair and wore pink lipstick and lots of mascara and chewed their gum constantly.  The boys had long bangs and sideburns and tried to look tough.  That wasn't just on television and movies--it was real.  One young man who rode our bus sometimes, and was very quiet, stopped riding the bus.  I found out later that he had committed suicide.  Life was in our faces, whether we liked it or not.  But in my small circle of life, there was good and evil, and evil was a thing that was locked outside at night, in the darkness, away from the family.

This might seem weird, but my husband and kids and I are trying to buck the lifestyle of the 21st century and model our family life more like the mid-20th century.  We eat dinner together every night.  I stay home and take care of the household, and even school the kids.  Every morning as my husband goes out the front door to drive to work, I kiss him good-bye.  We go to church every Sunday morning, and it is the highlight of our week.  We have consciously chosen to NOT stay busy, busy, busy all the time, but to take time to dream, plan, and just enjoy life instead.  For some, this might all seem horribly old-fashioned and dull.  And I guess for some, it would be.  But we are very happy with it!  Please know that I'm aware that most people couldn't possibly get by with only one income in the family, and I'm not in ANY way putting working moms down!  Just, if the choice is there, it's not such a bad one!

Dinner time grace

How about you?  Are you living the "normal" life of a resident of the 21st century?  Are you loving it, or would you like to take a step back in time?  Some people thrive on being busy all the time--do you?  Do you get embarrassed by the things some people do in our anything-goes society, or do you partake in whatever "feels good at the time?"  There are ways to change your life if you feel like something is missing.  I hope for you joy and peace in living YOUR lifestyle.    

The Future of the 1960's

One of my favorite cartoons when I was growing up in the 60's was "The Jetsons".  I think everyone I knew bought into the idea that the future--the way distant 2000's and beyond--would be full of flying cars and moving sidewalks, all because we believed "The Jetsons".  I was hopeful that my adulthood would be an adventure of flying without the need for gasoline, and buildings would be up in the sky and ultra-modern.  Everyone would have a nuclear family, with a husband/father like George, and the wife/mom would stay home like Jane, while the daughter Judy and little Elroy would go to school.  Jane would have the help of Astro the Dog and Rosie the Robot, and errands would go smoothly and easily all day long at the touch of a button, while George would go off to work for Mr. Spacely in his flying car.

For awhile there, buildings were starting to look more sleek.  The lines were clean and crisp, there was a lot of glass.  We have a neighborhood where I live that I drive by often.  When I was a child, it was just being developed.  Now, keep in mind that my family lived outside of town, in a rural area.  Our house was a simple little box, with windows and doors that functioned to bring in light and to allow us entry.  But this neighborhood, IT had pizzazz!  The houses were so up-to-date and modern!  They looked a little bit on the spacy side, kind of modeled after spaceship ideas.  This was shortly after the Seattle World's Fair in 1962, where the Space Needle was the crowning jewel.  This was our future, and it was exciting and fresh.

Jetsons' mansion--way cooler than most neighborhoods

Space Needle inspiration

Today that neighborhood is more rundown than most of the city.  It has been known to have more gang activity than the average, and most of the houses just look tired and shabby.  It doesn't inspire anyone with much of anything.  What was the future, has become the past.

"The Jetsons" got quite a few things wrong, though I'm sure no one was trying to predict the future at all.  It was all for laughs, the opposite of "The Flintstones".  Our "future" in all actuality is not how "The Jetsons" predicted it would be.  For instance, there aren't that many wives/moms who stay home while the husband/father goes to work.  Homes sit empty all day while the whole family is gone to their various places of work or school.  Even Astro may be at a doggy daycare.  Most of us don't have Rosie's help, but we may have a Roomba to vacuum our floors while we're gone.  We are stuck in rush hour traffic, with our tires planted firmly on the ground, or walking on the same concrete sidewalks that have been in our cities for eons.  Certainly nothing much has changed since I was young!

But wait!  As I researched for this post, I started to realize that "The Jetsons" foretold more than I could have imagined.  They had big screen TV's, watches with moving images on them, and video phones.  Their flying cars seemed to operate on fuel other than gas, and it would seem possible that one could actually plug his flying car in at night and charge it up for the next day.  They still had cash, which is kind of funny when you think of it, because we don't often carry cash around with us in the Real Future.

LeisurelyJane watching robotic sports on her big screen TV

Is this really so different from what we have available today for our portable viewing pleasure?

One of the better uses of video phones, I'd say



We also have satellite entertainment, cars that can tell you if you're going to collide with something (or at least turn our headlights off for us after we leave the car), and home cooling and heating systems that keep us comfortable twenty-four hours a day without even thinking about it.

When I think back on "The Jetsons" and lament that we don't really have all those ultra-modern conveniences, maybe I should think about the conveniences we DO have--the ones that "The Jetsons" predicted, and the ones that they didn't.  It was a joke back in the 60's, but the future is here!