Visiting Friends in 60's Style

I have spoken before about going to visit family and friends when I was growing up.  My mom had friends from school that we visited, and my dad had friends that we visited.  By the time my sister and I came along, all my parents' friends were just considered FAMILY friends, and had been for quite awhile.  The funny thing was that nearly ALL of my parents' friends had boys, and no girls! Luckily, my sister and I were tomboys!

We would have these boring Saturdays where none of us in the family could think of anything to do.  We had done all the playing we could stand, and our homework was done.  Then Mom and Dad would tell us to get cleaned up and change our clothes--we're going to visit someone!  And a lot of the time we wouldn't know who we were going to visit!  Instead of being nervous, we were excited and anticipating our visit.  Looking back, I think that Mom and Dad didn't know who we were going to visit for sure either.  We never called first, and that's just the way everyone did it.  People would come to visit us unannounced too, and they were always welcomed.  So we might start out going to visit one family, but if they weren't home we'd try another.

Friends of my grandma's and by extension, our friends too

Today we have Facebook, texting, tweeting, Skype, and e-mail.  We have lots of ways of "getting together".  But the only communication device we had in the 60's and before, was the telephone.  And that was something you used when you WEREN'T going to visit and wanted to talk to them anyway.  The best device was the car, or if the friends lived close by, the feet.

When we went to our extended family's homes or to family friends' homes, it was an event.  Some of them lived a fair distance away, and we'd stay overnight.  One family had a split-level home, and I can remember sleeping for the night in the basement of their home, laying on two armchairs pulled together front-to-front.  Another family lived near us, but the evening got so late I would fall asleep on their couch with someone's coat over me for a blanket, with the joyful sound of laughter and talking in the next room.  I have such wonderful memories of visiting, and exploring the neighborhoods of our friends.  One of my dad's high school classmates had gotten married and they had two boys about the ages of my sister and me.  They were our favorites to go visit, because they often had train sets or race cars that we all played with.  While our parents played Aggravation or cards we played hide-and-seek with the boys, or we hid objects and tried to find them using the "am I warm or cold" method.  We always had a lot of fun whether they came to our house or we went to theirs.

 

My favorite aunt and uncle's house--we visited there regularly

My wonderful Uncle Ted on his back porch in the long ago days

Do people visit like that anymore?  My observation is that we are always too busy now.  We're working, or taking care of our house and home.  We're enjoying our hobbies.  We're going to our children's school plays or sports games.  Who has time to visit friends and just enjoy each other's company for an hour or two?

When I started this blog, I had been thinking about our visits while I was growing up, and how much we all enjoyed them.  They made our lives so much richer.  As connected as we can be now, I believe that we were MORE connected back then.  It is much better to communicate and be in fellowship with each other in person, face-to-face, than it is on the computer or even by phone.  There is something to be said for seeing a person's expressions as they're talking to you, to help you know exactly what they're saying.  Being together in person binds you to each other in a way that nothing else can.

My nephew visiting with a dear old family friend

The most interesting thing about visiting each other was the good-bye.  It was never a see-yourself-out kind of thing.  It wasn't even a wave at the door.  No--good-bye was like the grand finale of the visit!  If you were the host, you walked out to their car with them.  If you were the guests, they walked out to your car with you.  From that point on, it was always the same.  Everyone would get in the car, roll their windows down, and talk to the other family for some time more.  The moms would talk, the dads would talk, and the kids would talk and scuffle around.  During this half hour or so there would be good-byes, and an, "oh, I almost forgot to tell you..."  Finally, much later than originally planned, the guests would back out of the driveway and head home to bed.  Why do I always think of frogs croaking, crickets chirping, clear, starry nights, and warm evening breezes when I think back to this?  Surely we visited people in other seasons than summer, but then, we kids were out of school, and the living was easy.

I talk of farewells now because I have decided to discontinue my Tuesday/Thursday postings.  I have begun to run out of subjects--after all, I was only a child in the 60's.  I could talk about lots of things that were iconic to the 1960's, but I don't have personal knowledge of them, and they would be strictly researched, but wouldn't come from the heart and soul.  I really enjoyed growing up in such an era.  I tell my kids about the freedom we had to run around the neighborhood, and it is something that they have never been able to experience because the world is meaner now.  That is mostly why I wanted to share some of life in the 1960's with you.  If you were there, I hope you have been able to reminisce with me a little.  If you weren't there, I hope you might be able to better understand those of us who were--the freedom and innocence we lived with and the modern conveniences we lived without!  I hope you can have a sense of history of where this country has been in the not-too-distant past.  If I come up with any ideas from time-to-time I will happily come back and jot them down.  I may not come jauntily into your driveway on a regular basis anymore, but you never know when I'll come for a visit.  And I won't call first--it'll be a surprise!